I have not seen a lot of things in my life. I am only nearly 17.
Today, I have seen some things.
I have seen Wong Yew Leong dance around in an Elvis suit and orange feather boa.
I have seen Mr Seet dress in pink plus-sized women's clothes complete with balloon boobs.
I have seen Harris and Ixer dress up as that strange fat guy who only ever wears blue shirts.
I have seen the PE Department do some pretty lame shit.
I have seen Mr Ken do a Bollywoodish dance back in Dunman.
These are not things I thought I wanted to see before I die, but there was no harm in doing so. Mostly.
I'm still quite stunned. Try again next week.
It was great to see everyone again, and all the teachers, who seemed to have changed so much. I think they would not like the idea of not writing in paragraphs, unless I was writing a poem, so this is an attempt at a paragraph, because I am not writing a poem. When I do, I will not publish it on this blog, because it is embarrassing to reveal your inner thoughts and I am not that good anyway. They never turn out the way I want them to. Rest assured, I will not put in stupid metaphors like liquid diamonds. That takes the cake.
When school reopens, there will be a mad rush of lessons and revision. However, I will not be able to look wong yew leong in the face on thursday. I don't think I will be able to for a long time to come.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Today I read an article about the power of blogging. How blogging can usurp tyrants, and expose corruption, for example in John Leiberman, the Democrat primary. How because there is free speech in the first world, people take it for granted and write vapid, empty, self centred posts. How people elsewhere blog more carefully because every word counts. Look, this is rubbish. First, vapid posts happen everywhere. Second, yes, free speech is taken for granted, but it doesn't mean that bimbotic posts should be banned. They are PART of free speech. Not everyone wants to overthrow the government, not everyone's life revolves around just that.
The author has a very narrow view of what blogs really are for. They are a platform for opinions, not necessarily about politics. They are places where you can catch up with friend's lives, and they are places where you can be emo. Or, they are avenues for shameless self promotion. To say that people should only have posts that comment on important, world-changing issues is just condescending. So, I will waste this post away with little lines of nonsense inspired by Russell Peter's "Your Marder so Fat!"
Your marder so fat, that when she get into the lift, she press all the buttons.
Your marder so fat, that when she get into the car, car honk vey loud.
Your marder so fat, that when she watch movie, she block herself.
Your marder so fat, when she want string bikini, they string pail.
Your marder so fat, when she fly to san francisco, she buy plane.
Your marder so fat, she must do her laundry in the sea.
Your marder so fat, that when she play piano, she only make one sound.
The author has a very narrow view of what blogs really are for. They are a platform for opinions, not necessarily about politics. They are places where you can catch up with friend's lives, and they are places where you can be emo. Or, they are avenues for shameless self promotion. To say that people should only have posts that comment on important, world-changing issues is just condescending. So, I will waste this post away with little lines of nonsense inspired by Russell Peter's "Your Marder so Fat!"
Your marder so fat, that when she get into the lift, she press all the buttons.
Your marder so fat, that when she get into the car, car honk vey loud.
Your marder so fat, that when she watch movie, she block herself.
Your marder so fat, when she want string bikini, they string pail.
Your marder so fat, when she fly to san francisco, she buy plane.
Your marder so fat, she must do her laundry in the sea.
Your marder so fat, that when she play piano, she only make one sound.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
I have just finished reading one chapter on the Cold War, and it has been enough to delude me into believing that I've done anywhere near enough. Promos are in 4 weeks. I HAVE to start properly now, but there are other more urgent things (yeah right) that require my undivided attention. For example, my mother just flew off to San Francisco for some vendor thing. She's left me saddled with moer to do around the house than usual, and my lazy ass brother is not helping. My only consolation is that she will buy nice stuff from the land of opportunity, elvis, disneyland and nuclear bombs.
And debate alumni are going to be flooding the function room soon, but I haven't bought any drinks or paper plates or anything. Will go later. Soon. When I can drag myself away from screensucking activities. Screensucking. I like that word. It almost sounds as if you're doing something cool or lewd in front of your computer, when it actually means that you're stoning. Searsucker. It's a kind of cloth that's wrinkly. Toesucker. What babies are.
FAYE IS GONE!!!
And debate alumni are going to be flooding the function room soon, but I haven't bought any drinks or paper plates or anything. Will go later. Soon. When I can drag myself away from screensucking activities. Screensucking. I like that word. It almost sounds as if you're doing something cool or lewd in front of your computer, when it actually means that you're stoning. Searsucker. It's a kind of cloth that's wrinkly. Toesucker. What babies are.
FAYE IS GONE!!!
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Sunday, August 20, 2006
This has been niggling at me for awhile. There is too much emphasis on writing impressively rather than writing clearly. People are blown away by dead metaphors, long words, and stuffy tone, while forgetting the purpose of the written word in the first place. I was reading a writing guide by The Economist (and they would do well to follow their own advice), and decided that the education system has instilled bombasticism over elegance.
An example: Use short words, like about, instead of approximately. These shorter words are natives of the English language, with Anglo-Saxon origin, rather than longer, Latin or German based vocabulary. The word vocabulary itself comes from the French "vocabulaire", which in turn comes from the Medieval Latin "vocabularium". Although English is a bastard language, it has evolved into a separate linguistic entity, and it has words for most things. Therefore there is no excuse to use "per annum" when one can use "per year" or "beyond one's authority", not "ultra vires".
I recognise that style is a crucial part of writing, and sometimes tone or individuality call for sesquipedalians, but they should be exceptions rather than the norm. Simple words don't make you sound like a moron. They are powerful. For instance "To be or not to be, that is the question." , "We are such stuff as dreams are made of", or in a modern context "You cocky little shit." Besides, writing is always more accessible when it reads like normal, grammatical speech.
I change my mind. I've just read the whole article, and it has excluded about half my vocabulary. Not everyone can write like Economist journalists, and even they make mistakes. So as long as I don't have to strain to understand it, and it doesn't make me cringe, it's fine with me.
Go here, if you can be bothered. http://www.economist.com/research/styleGuide/index.cfm?page=673913
Saturday, August 19, 2006
From the front page of today's Straits Times:
"The trouble now is that Singaporeans believe that we'll always have a PAP government." This allowed the oppposition to say that if voters chose the opposition, "then the PAP governemnt will have to give them more."
I have suggestions for the men in white to combat this problem, that seems so enormous that if they don't solve it, Parliament will collapse, the MNCs will take over Singapore, there will no longer be any hope of air-conditioned underwear, and (gasp!) chewing gum will be allowed on the streets!
One part of the problem, as seen by the statement, is that Singaporeans think that the PAP will have power forever. There are 2 paths they can take to address this. First, they can make Singaporeans stop believing it. They can stop meddling around with GRC boundaries, screw up the budget, and stop suing oppposition party members. To be more interesting, they should go along Orchard Road selling flags to raise funds for the party. Their slogan can be "Help us! We're only paid in peanuts." This will prompt a mass outcry, followed by an investigation, with some lowlifes being sent to jail, hopefully leaving some space for the opposition.
Alternatively, they could make sure they stay in power forever. This is easier, but more boring. It involves doing exactly what they have always done, with the inclusion of hijacking all the hawker centres. Then they can threaten those constituencies who don't vote for them by saying "We will shut down all the hawker centres with our 90% majority!" This will scare the shit out of people who are concerned about bread, butter, and ba chor mee issues. Since the PAP believes that most Singaporeans are like that (and their believes are always correct), Singaporeans will continue to keep them in power in order to eat chwee kueh and chee cheong fun every morning.
If they really are worried about having 3, instead of 2 opposition MPs, would result in them having to pay more attention to constituent opinion, there is a brilliant solution to their quandry. All they need to do is announce mass resignation from Singapore Parliament, and let the opposition take all the seats. Then, they don't have to pay attention, or "give more", since they will have no mroe responsibilities! This would free up enormous amounts of time that would allwo them to put their excellent qualifications to use.
For example, they could use their expertise gained from the encouragement of the math and sciences in the education system during their day to develop a production technique that wrings water from wet hair fresh from the shower. Do you know how much water is wasted when you let your hair dry? I mean, if we manage to utilise hair-water, we could cut our dependency on Malaysia by 11%! You could even extend it to squeezing and refining the damp from bath towels! No more need to clean up and drink all that pee! The possibilities are endless!
Or, they could help us solve the ageing population problem. A long ignored statistic is that 15% of Singaproean children are conceived under trees. I propose that they start a nation wide campaign to turn our "garden city" into a forest. That way, there would be no shortage of trees for the conception of our future. We will put our little red dot on the map for replacing the term "red-light district" into "greenery avenue". Perhaps they could look into creating parks right next to office blocks, to facilitate those career minded people who would like to have a family, if only they had the time and place.
Personally, I don't see what the problem is. They just need to get a little entrepreneurial, enterprising, creative, considerate, unique, engaging, or whatever their word for the day is.
"The trouble now is that Singaporeans believe that we'll always have a PAP government." This allowed the oppposition to say that if voters chose the opposition, "then the PAP governemnt will have to give them more."
I have suggestions for the men in white to combat this problem, that seems so enormous that if they don't solve it, Parliament will collapse, the MNCs will take over Singapore, there will no longer be any hope of air-conditioned underwear, and (gasp!) chewing gum will be allowed on the streets!
One part of the problem, as seen by the statement, is that Singaporeans think that the PAP will have power forever. There are 2 paths they can take to address this. First, they can make Singaporeans stop believing it. They can stop meddling around with GRC boundaries, screw up the budget, and stop suing oppposition party members. To be more interesting, they should go along Orchard Road selling flags to raise funds for the party. Their slogan can be "Help us! We're only paid in peanuts." This will prompt a mass outcry, followed by an investigation, with some lowlifes being sent to jail, hopefully leaving some space for the opposition.
Alternatively, they could make sure they stay in power forever. This is easier, but more boring. It involves doing exactly what they have always done, with the inclusion of hijacking all the hawker centres. Then they can threaten those constituencies who don't vote for them by saying "We will shut down all the hawker centres with our 90% majority!" This will scare the shit out of people who are concerned about bread, butter, and ba chor mee issues. Since the PAP believes that most Singaporeans are like that (and their believes are always correct), Singaporeans will continue to keep them in power in order to eat chwee kueh and chee cheong fun every morning.
If they really are worried about having 3, instead of 2 opposition MPs, would result in them having to pay more attention to constituent opinion, there is a brilliant solution to their quandry. All they need to do is announce mass resignation from Singapore Parliament, and let the opposition take all the seats. Then, they don't have to pay attention, or "give more", since they will have no mroe responsibilities! This would free up enormous amounts of time that would allwo them to put their excellent qualifications to use.
For example, they could use their expertise gained from the encouragement of the math and sciences in the education system during their day to develop a production technique that wrings water from wet hair fresh from the shower. Do you know how much water is wasted when you let your hair dry? I mean, if we manage to utilise hair-water, we could cut our dependency on Malaysia by 11%! You could even extend it to squeezing and refining the damp from bath towels! No more need to clean up and drink all that pee! The possibilities are endless!
Or, they could help us solve the ageing population problem. A long ignored statistic is that 15% of Singaproean children are conceived under trees. I propose that they start a nation wide campaign to turn our "garden city" into a forest. That way, there would be no shortage of trees for the conception of our future. We will put our little red dot on the map for replacing the term "red-light district" into "greenery avenue". Perhaps they could look into creating parks right next to office blocks, to facilitate those career minded people who would like to have a family, if only they had the time and place.
Personally, I don't see what the problem is. They just need to get a little entrepreneurial, enterprising, creative, considerate, unique, engaging, or whatever their word for the day is.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
I hate thurdays. I hate thursdays because I have 6 periods lined up in a row. So maybe this happened everyday at dunman, but my attention span has shortened considerably since then. i suspect that ths has been a combination of burn out from o levels, and the wonderful 5 period break that I have on mondays. But I suppose I can't complain, since I am always ponning the econs lecture anyway, unless cook's doing it.
Today Sonya came to crash our lit tutorial. I am impressed, and confounded at my own stupidity. Harris seemed much happier after she and 2 other people came in. Before that he was trying to force out some noise from my class. He started making the noise himself after that, especially when Sonya called the stanzas of This Excellent Machine "paragraphs".
Can't wait to see the gays tomorrow.
Today Sonya came to crash our lit tutorial. I am impressed, and confounded at my own stupidity. Harris seemed much happier after she and 2 other people came in. Before that he was trying to force out some noise from my class. He started making the noise himself after that, especially when Sonya called the stanzas of This Excellent Machine "paragraphs".
Can't wait to see the gays tomorrow.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
'Tis a delicious controversy that has the most disinterested poodles licking their chops. (if anyone knows exactly what "chops" refers to, please tell me. I was never able to figure it out) Round and round it goes, where it stops, nobody knows. Hmmm... we will wait and see.
Spent today quite ambivalent about everything...hummm.
If anyone finds out who nosey parker passerby is, please refer him to the PW group otherwise known as BBSVY. I think they may have a bone to pick. They would probably want to pickle passerby's carrot as well, but what do I know. My PW group, however, is very peace loving. All we want to do is help autistic children and save the world.
Spent today quite ambivalent about everything...hummm.
If anyone finds out who nosey parker passerby is, please refer him to the PW group otherwise known as BBSVY. I think they may have a bone to pick. They would probably want to pickle passerby's carrot as well, but what do I know. My PW group, however, is very peace loving. All we want to do is help autistic children and save the world.
Friday, August 11, 2006
I am now serving the 3rd day of my 5 day incarceration. I tried finding a sympathetic ear in a friend, but I was faced with a puzzled reply of "Lol, I'm not very sure what that is." Never mind though, it turned out to be a very strange but enlightening conversation. That relieved my boredom for about half an hour yesterday, but it has come back with such force that I almost wish VJ didn't win the soccer finals. Then, I wouldn't need to be sitting at home, contemplating the greater meaning of "couch potato". Instead, my timetable postulates that at this very moment, I should be sitting in the library resource room, watching yet another Cold War video that was around when Mr. Sayers was born. I realise the chronological impossibility of that statement, but it seems like it anyway.
There is almost an obligation to write something about national day. Oops, National Day. Must always remember those important capitals. But it's something that I never paid attention to since kindergarten, in all its gigantic and pretentious glory. So...National Day..hmmm. A tiring exercise thar depsite claims, never varies in fakeness rating, and only confirms my suspicions that there are no patriots..only sheep. Maybe there are patriots, but I haven't met one yet. Sure, I have roots here and friends here and everything...but it doesn't eradicate the sianess, which is compounded by days like these.
Two days ago, I was faced with an insurmountable anger that was only superceded by supreme disillusionment. It is shameful when something you really like gets derailed because of the filthy politics. This still rankles so maybe I shouldn't talk about it.
PW is going BRILLIANTLY. I don't know why everything is falling into place, but it is. May everyone's PW experience be as tranquil as mine, where MPs take interest and offer interviews. I know I hate PW, and the concept behind it. I'm just expressing gratitude that all is well.
There is almost an obligation to write something about national day. Oops, National Day. Must always remember those important capitals. But it's something that I never paid attention to since kindergarten, in all its gigantic and pretentious glory. So...National Day..hmmm. A tiring exercise thar depsite claims, never varies in fakeness rating, and only confirms my suspicions that there are no patriots..only sheep. Maybe there are patriots, but I haven't met one yet. Sure, I have roots here and friends here and everything...but it doesn't eradicate the sianess, which is compounded by days like these.
Two days ago, I was faced with an insurmountable anger that was only superceded by supreme disillusionment. It is shameful when something you really like gets derailed because of the filthy politics. This still rankles so maybe I shouldn't talk about it.
PW is going BRILLIANTLY. I don't know why everything is falling into place, but it is. May everyone's PW experience be as tranquil as mine, where MPs take interest and offer interviews. I know I hate PW, and the concept behind it. I'm just expressing gratitude that all is well.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
I don't usually blog twice a day..but there can be exceptions. This exception is because I have realised that I am a soap opera addict. Before I move on, let me clarify that a soap opera addict is different from a soap opera fan. Soap opera fans really like that horrendous stuff. I am just cruelly fascinated by it. I mean, all the shit that the actors say on them are so damn cringe-worthy that it makes you want to fast forward through the whole thing. However, its just so revolting that I have to see it to the end. Here's where the deviant part of me comes out.
The closest thing I can compare it to would be circus acts. Some circus acts, like the contortionists and the fire eaters are just darn gross or scary but still you just HAVE to watch them, in a repulsed kind of attraction. What a beautiful contradiction. It's partly schadenfreude, but its also..I don't know...
And the thing is, sometimes this fascination doesn't only involve TV. It involves the written word. This is why I have been pushed to finish the most atrocious books and articles, even when my face is half buried in the barf bag. Anyway, this may reveal an immoral kaypohness on my part. But hey, at least I'm coming out of the closet. Besides, although kaypoh people are hated all over the world, sometimes they serve a higher purpose. Like journalists, or PIs, or that dude Deep Throat. Kaypohness might very well save the world someday
The closest thing I can compare it to would be circus acts. Some circus acts, like the contortionists and the fire eaters are just darn gross or scary but still you just HAVE to watch them, in a repulsed kind of attraction. What a beautiful contradiction. It's partly schadenfreude, but its also..I don't know...
And the thing is, sometimes this fascination doesn't only involve TV. It involves the written word. This is why I have been pushed to finish the most atrocious books and articles, even when my face is half buried in the barf bag. Anyway, this may reveal an immoral kaypohness on my part. But hey, at least I'm coming out of the closet. Besides, although kaypoh people are hated all over the world, sometimes they serve a higher purpose. Like journalists, or PIs, or that dude Deep Throat. Kaypohness might very well save the world someday
Finally went out to watch a movie with my team today -- Tokyo Drift. Ok, so maybe not one of the most intellectual choices that you could make, but watching it together with them made the 8 dollars worth it. Tokyo Drift is the corniest, funniest movie that's out now. They've got classic lines like
"You're his kryptonite."
"We're not so different, you and I"
"You sold me a broken iPod!" BAMBAMBAMBAM
But I think what they guys liked best were all the semi-naked chicks. Kenneth's favourite was Ready, but I think Luvis preferred Seto. Felda Chay couldn't stop laughing, especially at some naked fat Japanese guy, and Sonya just rolled her eyes. The movies was so unrealistic that every thing seemed hilarious; the damn thing took itself so seriously.
This was relief from what passed as national day celebrations at VJ. I have one good thing to say about them, which is that they were short. Thank you, noble SCs of VJ, who know a bad thing when they see one, and end it quickly. This is a very important quality to have in life, since it prevents many assasination attempts and leaves you with far more friends. Everyone should take classes in "How to Spot Suckiness". I can give you a 3 minute crash course that only costs $200 a shot. You're worth it.
"You're his kryptonite."
"We're not so different, you and I"
"You sold me a broken iPod!" BAMBAMBAMBAM
But I think what they guys liked best were all the semi-naked chicks. Kenneth's favourite was Ready, but I think Luvis preferred Seto. Felda Chay couldn't stop laughing, especially at some naked fat Japanese guy, and Sonya just rolled her eyes. The movies was so unrealistic that every thing seemed hilarious; the damn thing took itself so seriously.
This was relief from what passed as national day celebrations at VJ. I have one good thing to say about them, which is that they were short. Thank you, noble SCs of VJ, who know a bad thing when they see one, and end it quickly. This is a very important quality to have in life, since it prevents many assasination attempts and leaves you with far more friends. Everyone should take classes in "How to Spot Suckiness". I can give you a 3 minute crash course that only costs $200 a shot. You're worth it.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Closure is everything. Sure, yesterday wasn't the high that we wanted so badly, but at least there was some kind of proper ending. It was poetic, in a way. I lost my secondary school finals by the same margin, but i felt a lot more miserable. Yongwei was a great coach, but he just disappeared once the results were announced, after shaking our hands. At least yesterday we had a long dinner, with a few laughs.
Thanks felda.
And thanks to everyone else, who helped even in the smallest way. I know we shouldn't talk about counter histories, but things would never have been even this good without you guys.
And so tomorrow, my team will be going on stage to present the runner up trophy. On the plus side, we have a record number of finals, so this team won't be forgotten.
Life moves on.
Thanks felda.
And thanks to everyone else, who helped even in the smallest way. I know we shouldn't talk about counter histories, but things would never have been even this good without you guys.
And so tomorrow, my team will be going on stage to present the runner up trophy. On the plus side, we have a record number of finals, so this team won't be forgotten.
Life moves on.
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