Lots of blogs are very very funny. For the wrong reasons. So, I’ve done some parodies of the worst ones.

Ah Beng emo
I seriously don’t want to live anymore. Today, my dahling xiao za bao left me. It was a very very very very very very to the power of one thousand million bad fight. She wanted a coke, den I say, Noooo, Diet better. Then she say, You think i fat issit? Then I say, ah buh dan? Then she say, You MCP! Then I say, No lah, I jus like chio bu, that is all. Then she say, I’m breaking up with you. And then she slap me. So now my dahling is gone, and all that I have left of her is her bright pink hariclip that she left at my house that day…

Poseur emo
The grey skies today trembled with virginal agony as the winds swept like a plague through my dwelling place. Upon the divan I reclined, contemplating existential issues while my cat, The World Is Ending NOW gnawed at my festering toe. Long before, in the sepulchral depths of my basement, a great travesty had occured. Today, the misery returns to corrupt my very being, the memories like chainsaws through camel turd. Once upon a time, the me that is now lost would have been able to get past the tragedy, but no longer. On this midnight dreary I only seek to end it all.

Act Smart
I think that George W. Bush’s pre-emptive foreign policy is going to be counterproductive. There are dire consequences to his rash actions. The problem with the pre-emptive strikes is that it harms the economy of Denmark. Once Bush decided to bomb Iraq, we saw a dramatic decrease in the number of Danish cookies demanded in that area. Since Denmark’s main export are its famous butter cookies, this pre-emptive strike has caused mass starvation there, and many are suffernig from malnutrition from eating the surplus danish cookies. This dramatic decrease in demand is due to the fact that bombings tend to cause consumer fear, that Danish
cookies might explode in their faces.

Bimbo
oh my gawd! today was soooooooo exciting. First, I like went out to buy the latest foot moisturiser. Then I realised, wow! I’m actually already using that stuff on my face! So i’m like, so why bother? So i called up my friend Denise, and she was like, oh my gawd! You don’t use veruca cream on your face! And I was like, but what’s a veruca? And she says, like, its a kind of sandwich, the veruca cream makes it taste better. So I went to the kitchen and spread the veruca cream on the low-fat no-taste bread. It looked kinda like cream cheese, and I don’t eat cream cheese. But it wasn’t cream cheese, so I ate it. it was like, awesome….

password protected
This post is password protected. This means that you cannot see it unless you have the password. I didn’t give the password to anyone, because I don’t want anyone to read it, because its ultra secret. And even though anyone can access the World Wide Web, I don’t want to whole world, not even my friends So you can’t read it. So there.