Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there lived an exceedingly dumb hero called Jocks Drap. He was built like a concrete block, and 10 times as dense. It had been a trying time for him. Steriod-laced protein shake prices were at an all-time high due to police crackdowns. Jocks preferred to be a law-abiding hero, but he always found that people liked heavily built and mentally tormented saviours, like Batman. (Bruce Wayne, not Kenneth Kang) Besides, if he showed up looking like Luvis in tights and wearing his underwear outside, people would laugh at him for being a total wanker. People don't laugh at wankers twice their size.

When he got out of bed today, he received a disturbing phone call from the neighbourhood police post corporal Ong "Cheese Pie" Fong Sai. There had been a spate of spark-plug thefts and the police were desperate to find the perpretrator. The case had been given to Corporal Ong, and it was his big break. A conviction would mean a move to better things, like filling up police reports for students who lose their fund raising coupons. So he turned to Jocks Drap for help.

The police post was a dreary place that only police scholars lived their lives out in. The paint was peeling off the walls, but no one could persuade the paint from doing so. The police force were yet to enter negotiations with the paint to leave their walls alone, otherwise the roof will come down. The paint had joined NTUC, and had continued peeling off as many walls as it liked. Such was the environment which necessitated the growth of vigilantes like Jocks Drap. And he was here today once again to provide his help (he got paid leave from his employer Phua Chu Kang when on superhero business)

Corporal Ong was waiting for him at the reception desk. "Here are the photos from the surveillance camaers. As you can see, the suspect is pale, skinny, and looks like he is going to die."

Just then, the lights went out.

To be continued