"Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement. " - Mark Twain

"Why don't they make the whole plane out of the black box stuff?" -Steve Wright

"Life is a sexually trasmitted disease where the mortality rateis 100%"- R.D. Laing

"First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down." George Burns.

"You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest." Rowan Atkinson.

Some people know how to say everything.