Sometimes you wake up in the morning and you wonder, why am I here? What's the point of dragging myself through the day when my death would've made all the work I've done consigned to the wind? Then there's lots of unpleasant stuff to be dealing with, like telling my parents about my abysmal exam results, and preparing for OP. I might as well find a tower block to fling my pathetic shell off. This would then be the time for various religious leaders to step in and convince me that there is something worth waiting for. But then my staunch disbelief points out to me 2 things.

1. These things either aren't true,
2. Even if they are, I won't believe them anyway, so whatever happens I'll still rot in various unpleasant versions of hell.

So the only conclusion is that a few more decades don't factor in the greater scheme of things. Such a epiphany tends to throw one into the most extreme doldrums.

Then you discover the joy of a freshly baked cookie.

It doesn't really matter in the greater scheme of things, chinese, you know? No less economically developed countries are going to sink any deeper in the quagmire of bureaucracy or corruption simply because I failed chinese. Singapore is still going to continue its immensely profitable business dealings with China after tomorrow, after I fail my chinese promo. If nothing terrible in the likes of the apocalypse is going to occur when Ms Chan screws up chinese tomorrow, chances are, an asteriod will not collide with the earth if she does not turn up at all.

I am seriously considering that option.

But then I know that my pride will not let me. My pride will force me to take that bloody paper, and get an S (in a best-case scenario) instead of having a blank in my report slip. My common sense also tells me that I may as well get as much practise screwing up as I can, so that I can screw up the real A level chinese exam properly. Most of all, Mr and Mrs Chan will be much more annoyed about being absent for the chinese exam than if I failed it. But they will still be annoyed.

I also am driven to school every morning...and I have no intention of scaling the gate like many other VJC heroes.

Au revoir world. When I put my head on the chopping block for 3 hours toomorrow, I know that you'll still be the same when my headles carcass emerges. But I know that I won't.