So...I realised i haven't blogged in a long time. Spent most of this time settling into VJ and floozing around CNY. Today I will be engaging in my favourite activity. Criticising Zhang Ziyi. Or as she likes to be known now, ziyi zhang

Memoirs of a Geisha was a damn wrong story. It became an even wronger movie. Anal retentives will say that the hairstyles are chinese and not japanese, therefore making the movie sucky. However, I say the movie is sucky due to all the horny people that fill the screen.

1. Dr. Crab. Likes colllecting geisha's virginities. Pervy, likes feeling up kimonos. I suspect he is called crab because he has appendages as hugely disproportionate as a fiddler crab's giant claw.

2. The Baron. Kinky guy. Likes taking off kimonos and looking.

3. American soldiers. Like having baths in hot springs with anked geishas

4. Sayuri (zhang ziyi) Spends her whole life lusting after the Chairman. Goes through geisha training and sex with Crab just to get closer to him. Has only 2 facial expressions. Sad and horny.

5. Nobu. Disfigured paedophile

6 CHAIRMAN. WIns award for sickest bastard. Gave little girl sayuri some ice kacang shit and then spent his whole life lusting after her. ends up making her his mistress 10 years later, when she is no longer a kid. Supressed Freudian desires

Hahahahaha. Vj wasn't as bad as I had expected. It was great really. Some parts of the orientation were quite sian but the mass dances were quite ok. Haven't posted in a while because Ive been so exhausted with all the stuff going on. Tomorrow's the last day of it and it's going to be some sea regatta. my og Icis has become Emperor MoMo's army (long story) and will be in charge of dunking people.

The Vj arts faculty rocks. it's this little rebel group which makes up about 10% of the student population. They have this hilarious cheer that makes fun of the science fac. Useless to describe it, it should be seen in all its glory.

Vj has a disgusting urban legend about why you should never eat the mayo from the western food stall. It involves toilets, noises, and Uncle Mayo

Last post of the year...

I watched 2 movies today, since my father went and rented so many dvds. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was obviously the better one. it stayed true to the book and Johnny Depp was entertainingly funny, sinister, and kuku. I admire him for the time he spent preparing for this role. I suspect he camped outside Michael Jackson's house with a pair of binoculars.

Now, the crappy movie was House of Flying Daggers. It started out ok, and the costumes and scenary were very nice. I mean scenary in the normal layman sense of the word, not the way christianne would take it. the actors were ugly or sissy or both. The real problem comes with indecision. These are a list of things they could not decide on.

1. Disability/Ability
a. Girl cannot decide whether she is blind or not. When it turns out she can see, she still has the stoned look. Producer probably made that up to explain zhang ziyi's bad acting
b, girl cannot decide whether she is kungfu master or not. Therefore, she can tell which peanut hit which drum, but not save herself from a pervert

2. Urge to reproduce: Characters attempt to mate with blind/not blind girl 3 times before she actually does it with the sissy guy

3. State of life: Girl gets stabbed in the heart with flying dagger from houseman of flying daggers. wakes up 3 times to
a. realise her sissy boyfriend came back
b. realise there was snow falling on her face
c. throw another flying dagger to save aforementioned boyfriend

then she dies

Aaahhh! This is time to do some major shit-ass panicking. The after o-level period went by in a flash of boring colour. I will miss not studying. Admittedly it felt like my life had no purpose after the exams, but that is still better than starting jc. For one thing, I'm going to have to go at 730 just because of my stupid phone number. shite. I wonder who's gonna be in my class. They won't measure up to the l/m loonies. Frick. totally blew the holidays. Now the stupid orientation will start, and we will all have to act like 5 year olds, screaming cheers that i thought i left behind a long time ago...

So! There was this truly disgusting show on hbo, called Angels in America. At first it seemed smart-ish, like Six Feet Under. but then it came to this scene where this woman angel was complaining about how God loved humans more than angels because he created humans, and he hated the angels incessant humping. The man she was talking to looked like he crawled out of a drain. Then she sort of flapped her wings a bit, whined about how she deprived she was, then burnt off his clothes and humped him too. You see the WHOLE LONG PUKING PROCESS PLUS SOUND EFFECTS. Then they move to the next scene, where he tells his friends that she had eight vaginas.

hello! The censorship board didn't allow Sex and the City for the LONGEST time and now they have FRIGGIN HUMPING ANGELS!!!! Which kind of goes to show that Freud was right and the censors should stop being so retentive because its all going to gush out sooner or later.

Twas the night before Christmas as all through the world
The noises of unrest were being unfurled
The men in Iraq were littering the streets
With bullets and bombs and C5 treats
Children in Africa were dying of Aids
Deadly thin and trembling without even a bed
While women in Iran were hiding their heads
Santas were drinking and laughing instead
In China not too far from the premier's sight
Bird flu's snuffing lives out like a light
Cholera's spreading from no sanitation
Kids are suffering zero education
At the North Pole the bears are sweating
Feeling hot and bothered about global warming
2 thousand years ago Jesus violently died
Now there's still blood this Yuletide
The Gates and Bonos can't do it alone
Bring the Christmas spirit to everyone's home