Examination means to look at closely. I am to be examined. What a stupid thing to worry about really. There are more important things in life, especially making sure that Falungong members don't insult China by telling the truth. Isn't it strange? In court, they make you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, then they prosecute you for doing so. Does anyone ever consider what else those people could've said?

"China talks to Falungong members nicely"

"Falungong loves China"

"The Falungong members who disappeared went on indefinite holiday to the Carribbean. China paid for their pina coladas"

We all know how the court case is going to turn out. And we can guess the reasons for doing so. China is an up and coming dragon that we want to suck up to. So that the dragon will give us lots of golden eggs. And when the dragon sits on people, roasts them on a spit, and eats them, we won't bother him about it. Surely we have to strike a balance betwee maintaining "economic ties" which seem oh-so-very important, and being advocates for something that cannot be valued in dollars.

Why is it that human rights are no where a part of our constitution? And hardly mentioned in foreign policy?

American society is terrible stupid and insensitive. You've probably heard everything about the imperialist, insensitive, kaypoh, strong-arm, ignorant population and its government. But you know what's most annoying? Most of the time, the people who are insulting America aren't that bright themselves. They're just doing some American bashing to pretend that they keep abreast (haha...it must've been a man who invented that phrase...keep-a-breast. I keep 2.) with current affairs.

Today I heard a rather intelligent conversation on the bus. It blew my socks off and people should really stop saying that the typical Singaporean has no opinions. This old uncle had opinions alright. And he had sat at the back of the bus, ambushing some poor NJC mugger and started nattering like he was trying to beat the noise of an Airbus taking off the bald runway on his head.

"Eh, boy, you stahdy secandaly issit"

"Uh...no...I study at National Junior College."

"Orhh..like that one...you stahdy what subject?"

"Uh..Physics, Maths, Chemistry and Econs."

"Vely good, vely good, eckonormics is very inteelesting. I last time also stahdy."

"Uh..ok"

"Now also I stahdy. You know the US? The US damn bigshot, but it cause the recession leh. You know that one?"

"Um...the Asian Economic Crisis?"

"Aiyah, I dohknow name lah, but the US go and buy and buy all the oil. Then everybody got no oil, so they bankrupt. That's why I sell the car, now take bus. Den my brother want to start business, but no one wanted to buy, then he also go bankrupt. Your parents go bust or not?"

"Uh..no. We still have a car."

"My parents cannot go bust. Die already. But the US also make them die faster. You know my father ah, work in the erectronics (sidenote: can you imagine what kind of machines this weirdo's father made??") factorery. He work and work, but the US spoil the eckornomy. Den my father get heart plobrem you know?"

"Oh..that's very sad..um, here's my stop."

The only sad part was that I was the only person on the bus who appeared to find any of this exchange amusing. Everyone else was either very good at keeping a straight face, deaf, or agreed completely with what the poor sod had to say.

Separate entry, because this is going to be a miserable one. GEP is dead. I know that this is a programme that had been much maligned and a lot of people have hated us over the years. But who cares about that? Lots more people are going to miss out on the special atmosphere we had, the way we could talk cock with our teachers, and crazy experiences like Tioman. After all, we grew so close and developed our own lingo, inside jokes; it almost felt like a family. JC was that much harder to adjust to because I'd become so attached to 4L/M.

Sigh.... I suppose no one will call us elitist anymore.

This has been the best birthday I've had for a long time...except that I'm also studying for the stupid promos.

Strawberry shortcake owns. Thanks A11 =)

There I was, supposed to be doing my written report. Then I thought, hmm... I want to listen to some music. So I open Windows Media Player. Then the song started playing. Which was exactly the time I stopped working. My media player is set to randomise the pattern and colour combination of the swirly things that they have. So instead of goign back to the report, I just sat there and watched the horribly hypnotising swirly things that Mircrosoft programmers have miraculously made to swirl and squish and pulse in time to the music. Grargh!! I can't even type this short paragraph because I keep going to check what new colourful swirly pattern there is on now. What an idiot technology makes of me. Got to go. More thingys to watch

IMF SPECIAL REPORT: Singapore Prepares for Delegates' "Special" Needs

In the bid to give the 16,000 delegates a comfortable experience, our capable organisers have made sure that all, yes, ALL, needs are satisfied.

Local escort agencies have stepped up a major recruitment drive, with a target of 1000 Singaporean women to accompany the foreign delegates for the IMF/ World Bank Conference. This was a vital action to secure the comfort of all delegates, following the retriction of protests indoors, which were taken against the wishes of our most esteemed visitors. The owner of an escort agency at Orchard Plaza offered a professional opinion that demand for particular ethnicities have be inversed. While foreign escorts had previously been favoured, the organisers of the conference predict that delegates would prefer some local flavour.

Quoted from a veteran hand in the business, "Although we can hire any Singaporean woman above 18 years of age, we prefer women in their early 20s. This is because younger women are less knowledgeable."

The aim of this of course is to leave a lasting impression on all IMF delegates. Besides delegates carrying out their delegation to the utmost of their delegative ability, they will also return to their home countries spreading their perception of Singapore. Tags like "Uniquely Singapore" have to be consistent in their execution, which is why escort agencies are being encouraged to supply locals rather than foreigners.

The lack of protests would show the delegates that the Singapore government has run the country very well, and has everything under its control. Furthermore, we will prove that we have no lack of Malaysian water, with the 800, 000 bottles of mineral water that will be distributed. Escort agencies have been informed to ensure that the image which the local escorts project would be one of creativity, versatility, and flexibilty, which is the overrall image that is going to accompany the rest of the local workforce.

The Singapore Tourism Board is working on a new slogan, tentatively "Singapore, We spread warm welcomes and much else besides."

Based on absurd material taken from The Straits Times, 12 September 2006.

1. one book which you have read more than once
Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

2. one book you want on a deserted island
Shantaram - Gregory David Roberts

3. one book that made you laugh
A Long Way Down - Nick Hornby

4. one book that made you cry
Prettystar the Pony - Enid Blyton

5. one book you wish you had written
Harry Potter 1 through 7 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

6. one book you wish had never been written
Prettystar the Pony - Enid Blyton. Well actually, all books by Enid Blyton.

7. one book you are currently reading
The Secret Life of Bees

8. one book you have been meaning to read
I am a Cat

9. one book that changed your life
Matilda - Roald Dahl. Kept trying to push things with my eyes for weeks after that.

10. tag 5 people
jan, sihui, lydia, yuting (can you read?), rachel

DIE PW, DIEEEEE!!!!!!

When someone dies you feel sorry for those left behind, and you try to say nice things about the dead guy and try to convince yourself that he was better than you thought. Steve Irwin died. I feel sorry for his family, but I still think that he's a stupid bloke. Sure, he publicised wildlife conservation, but his si lang tao made him dot hings like hug crocs and dangle his baby around. Now he really has a si lang tao.

When someone famous dies, lots of people are going to have different reactions. Mine was "Huh? Only stingray? Stupid bloke." My sister saw the newspaper and exclaimed, "Oh the crocodile guy is dead? Ploo!!" The guy on the radio (obviously a fan of the si lang tao) said, "I'm going to chompchomp some stingray."

In his life, Steve Irwin surrounded himself with the most blockheaded acts that are only attributed to the criminally insane. In death, he gets shrouded in stupidity and sent on. The newspapers have put his giant ugly mug on the front page and devoted a section of Life! to him. The doctor who pronounced him dead explained his rationale behind such a shocking action.

"He wasn't breathing and he had lost his pulse."

Crikey.

An Ode to the Process of Decolonization in Burma.

1945
When the Japanese left, the Brits came back
And decided that it was time to take a different tack
They still wanted lots of land and money
But the Burmese didn't think it was funny
So the Brits sighed and signed the White Paper
And told sad Aung San the changes would come later.
Now Aung San, he was a popular fellow, hell,
He managed to unite everyone into the AFPFL
So he decided to ditch the violence
And used his likeability to get their silence.
Instead Aung San would be doing all the talking
And if the Burmese were lucky, they could do some peaceful striking

1946
Guvnor Rance came down and tried to take over
But Aung San wouldn't let him bulldozer
After more strikes that got the poor sod scared
He gave the Thakins freedom to be had
Under some council or other, with Aung San as head
So far so good, no one was dead.
But the Brits were still scared of commies
So still no independence for the Burmese.
But then Thakin Soe and Red Flag got kicked out
And soon White Flag and Tha Tun had no clout

1947
In this year Aung San achieved a lot
He got to talk in London, unlike Pol Pot
He said they didn't get independence soon enough
Thakins would start supporting communist fluff
Back home he got the minorities to agree
That if they joined Burma, they could be free
Elections were held and Aung San won
He officially became Burma's No. 1

And so with much cajoling, and sometimes threatening
Burma's independence came with a signing.

Now that this is done there's 2 more countries to find
Then back to the earlier bits, which since mid years have slipped my mind

Shit...so much to do...stupid cold..ahh

VJC debate gathering 2006. Photo is one week old.

The cake. There is also a picture of the team cutting the cake, but that is just sad. There is one of the not-really-a-faggot-but-he-was-one-that-night-because-of-the-pink-T-shirt jon chong. Vanessa went nuts taking artisitc photos of my condo.

There is also one of a ghostly visitation, courtesy of felda chay. For more details, go see her blog, provided she saw fit to upload it.

Anonymity is very important in the cyber world. It prevents stupid shits from being dragged out of their beds in the middle of the night and bludgeoned to death with their own computer. As such, I have decided to infiltrate this secret society sneakily sanctioning stupid shits, find out their identities and reveal them to the world. Then the world can bludgeon them. However, infiltration is a join them then beat them method. This means I will be needing a nickname, one that hides my true identity. I've come up with a list of possibles, and narrowed it down to these few.

1. youdon'tknowwhoiambutidohahaha
2. nonsensesucker
3. kawabungaxxx
4. heygirliwannacatchyourWAVE
5. supermonkeymorpherrangerhyperballpowerGO!!!
6. john

I like the first one. Number 5 appeals as well. No, I'm not risking anything by showing my potential aliases and blowing my cover even before I've put it on. This is because I have anticipated the stupid shits and will not use any of the pseudonyms here. They are too normal. I'll never fit in among stupid shits like that.